I am super lazy to write these thought for a while, here we are. Making an html website in 2026. why? Couple reasons. maybe dozens of reasons. It could be leading to another failing blog attempt.
I have tried a many blog formats over the years. hosted github pages with jekyll, tried to post on medium, tried substack. Tried twitter. Tried instagram. All had their own reasons to die.
I never could ease myself about the audience. any social media, either it's too many strangers, or too many familiar. and if too many familiar then which voice i should use, what topics i am allowed to talk. ?
, what is the topic, what to expose what not. Thereis a big conflict on the platform audiecne being a mix with your personal vs professional life. Then there is the boundaries of not sharing your personal life on the professional platform. There is need to just to be out there and there is need to perform to create that personal brand. Lots entangles.
It's a combination of the events that brought me here to create a blog in 2026, try once again, in the era that no more human read web will exist anymore. Feels like i am going to the wrong direction but I will give it a try anyways. because yolo.
writing makes me more intentional. Just because I am writing this weekly recaps on my notebook now, it brings me back to my day and makes me think about how was the day. Not sure if that's pretentious in a way, to force myself to listen something new that week or it's a plus sighn that it makes me listen to something new intentionally. I don't know, but I don't know in either way if it even matters. But then sometimes I do watch or listen something so that I have something to put there.
that makes me think that is it performative, is it genuine, but I guess being performative to yourself as well, is a natural process. i believe, hope, that it would grow with me and find it's own voice
is it too much exposed? I also have this evaluating mind, what or what not to share here, what could hurt this open traffic where
The room, the idea of the room as illustration on the background is depicting my room in denizli. The whole point of whatever i do in my adult life is actually to be able to go back to that room.
it's a little silly but, there is this tiny childhood memory background. Once, we painted our apartment together with my dad. I was around middle school I guess. Until then I would be super careful with the walls not to stain, scratch whatsoever, otherwise mom would complain for days. But after doing the paint by myself, the idea of that I could repaint if I do something to the wall, made me start to log things on to walls in my room. It was sort of my living blog. I would write down anything. Literally anyting. I would talk about what made me happy, angry, how much i weigh that month, the lyrics I love, the book quote I found interesting, card game rules we play with firends but twisted the rules on our own, dates I did something special, watched something nice, biology notes, math formulas, grades I got, exams I failed, weird illustrations I used to make those days. It was my real life blog that grew with me from mid school to until end of high school you could see the progress. And the point was, sometimes, it was pretentious, because I would want "cool friends/relatives" to see this cool thing growing. Sometimes I would just be so much in the zone that I would write with no shame and couldn't care less to erase. End if I want to connect with those cool people, I would try to make a way to bring them to my room.
those years, being in my room was the peak of my "peace". I was loving to be in my room, listening to radio, my silly mp3 list with maybe 15 songs at most, sketching stupid stuff, noting whatever I was thinking, sketching nonsense constantly. I would be in the zone and keep making nonsense, until one of my parents forcing me to sleep. I would trick them that I slept and would wake up in the middle of the night to do a bit more. To do this constant nonsense, I was asking my dad to find me the manila papers. initially didn't want them becuase they are inexpensive. Rather I thought that it would look cool to do my illustrations on them with the tinted yellow backround, but since they were thin, inexpensive, my dad would bring me a huge stack, that the abundance was making me feel to spend them without any hold. And I was kinda addicted after all that, the white page was even more intimidating after I got used to them. i also didn't know the name, what it was called, and my dad was also like, hm what. We would say hay/straw papers in turkish but mainly manila papers. Anyways, that's where it comes the idea from. This is the web version of that room as much as it can be in public, and these notes are from those thin papers.
So that's where the name comes from.
[placeholder, drafting the sketch]
Previously my blog attemtps were around software development, tyring to write down the use cases, or interesting stuff that i learned. Then on twitter I was quite confused becase of the crowd. Like who do I talk to? it's confusing, am i the developer, is it safe to be my whole personality, am i what exactly?
Then there is instagram which bothered me even more. there the concept is more about how polished you are. Yes you can shape that too but the platform makes you polish yourself either concisously or not. I actually quit instagram couple years ago, because it was not giving me the engagement i enjoy, it was mostly showing off and also the ads. We are already the herd people. we all do the same things eventually. We want to wear the same, smell the same, eat the same, entertain the same, own the same things. But with the targetted ads it was even faster that we were converging. Now at least that targetting is more granular, at least you can train your algorithm a bit more. And I guess, by now, I am a little more informed on this, and i ack that it's not instagram or selective to social media anymore, I guess even the glass window of your favorite local shop is influencing you to that exacty same flow so I ack that there is no escape. Maybe i just made peace with it, in a cost of connecting with slightly larger network of mine to search for an outlet.
Last year, I tried to have a substack account. Here in the essays, the write up about the perfection and the japan were there. I just moved them here. Funny enough the perfection essay is total hypocrisy actually. It was something I was reading, reflecting about a lot, and trying to act out etc. And that topic become such a big hay stack that I wanted to organize the thoughs and write it down. that's where the substack idea came, i wanted to share these thoughts, wanted to be read but then substack as platform it makes you to be part of the wheel. the moment you write, "do you want to apply a paywall? :wink:" "do you want a shiny newsletter? :wink:" "do you want people to follow you more? :wink:" "have you read these to get more traffic? :wink:" The second ago I was just looking for an outlet to write thoughts but the moment i put that out, i want to optimize the system for myself, check stats who sees the post, look for ways to advertise etc. So that killed my motivation quickly as well.
Then Carol shared her mentor's web page with me. He hosted an "internal" page for himself, under the company domain, to share his now pages. I was like YES THIS IS IT. :D omg a webpage?! such a good idea! :D but seriously, it was the idea of "now" pages, and his page was a pretty nice representation of it.
I actually didn't know what now page is, never thought that version, he didn't also state that it was a now page but after I searched for similar things, I realized that it's a thing. For years didn't even came to know. Then found obviously many pages about how internet going crazy about plain html websites
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I think this is brilliant. Not knowing who reads how, what do they think. It's liberating. The format is yours. The people can select themselves to read or not. There is no follow button. Maybe I would put an RSS later, maybe a guestbook, who knows. The format, FREE. I can chose what to do with this page. There is no demand of aestetic, production, spell check, polish. No feedback mechanism that shapes what you do there unless you got that in real life.
And there is a human intention here. I want to share what's going on in my mind, with no formatting here. I try to be raw as much as possible. And I think it's beautiful, at least that's what I think if I find someone STILL trying to reflect in a form that not even being seen is guaranteed.
dilemma still continues though. It's still hesitating who to share wheere to share, what's the goal. Why? I showed this to my colleuges the other day, one said, why? I was like because it's silly and I like it and why not. But honestly, why, not sure. I would be shy to openly share, but then if i am not going to be read at all what's this export in any ways.
What i try here is a space to have a small break of logging what the week was. As if I would bump into an old friend and if I were to catch up what would i say for those days. And then there is long thoughts that I've been thinking about brewing for a while and if I am not lazy enough I would sit and write. These days, winter is so harsh that I don't even have other options than sit and write. The books part I want to keep noting since i have the fish memory, I want to make it incentives to write it down so that I remmeber the main idea i got from them, what insprired, what not. There is a cortado place, i usually drink green tea or black coffee if coffee but this learning to make a heart making me to drink coffee. Sometimes they turn out to be lookking like a dck but I try to cover them up with the remainder foam. It's super hard to find the correct amount of milk, the texture on the milk, and not panicking on the correct pressure while the pour.
There is the page for mix music, maybe i would cancel that page. It just felt cute with the casettes.
The is the part that I mkae what I like. A mix. Something silly in there.
That's it. there is the rule. I used claude to make the html skelatons but on the content, there won't be even a grammer check. It will be raw. It's intentional that I don't even care for the capital letters. However I like, because it's just the flow. I am chaning my mind every other second anyways and will not like the old posts the moment I let it go but that's the part of the process, things are ephemeral by nature in the web. I am already judgeing myself that the design is too rigid. I wanted to do something more relax but even then it looks quite tidied up, nothing actually slopy enough to reflect this idea of being raw. But maybe I will consider this later.
I will try my best to organize the essays though since they are like long thought logs.
Let's see where does this grows with me, if it survives or not.
now it almost became like a hobby. without even hosting, I am looking forward to write things down but the process is a bit messy. I start with the essays as the steam of concious, literally dropping what i have in mind, then going over and over and brewing for some days and fixing here and there to fix my thinking on that idea.
it's also a place to use my brains only, which is a scarce resource in opportunities if you think these days :D So the intention is two fold, to be raw and unfiltered and exercise this feeling of being ok with undone being fine with the doubt of being sensible, and also a space where I can use my BRAIN. WILD.
Where does it go? who knows.
notebook, ephemeral, something probably I will be shy in next moment but that's the web's nature. Everything is ephemeral.